She was having a relatively great day yesterday,
when come night time,
she receives a text out of the blue.
"Who is this?" she asks, even though she already saw the face
in her mind's eye very clearly.
"ur sister its not good for u" was the response.
And with that, she knew her vision was on point.
So she blocked him from the new number he had concocted as well.
Rewind to Earlier that same day...
She was having her daily coffee, and listening to a new found
pastor that she seemed to really resonate well with about a new way
of seeing herself and her love for self.
She was learning to apply all the things she had already heard before,
just never wanted to believe them because of an old fear.
However, ever since her life had come crashing down
one event after another after another...
She realized it was time to try something new.
As she was listening to this pastor, he had mentioned a lot of things that
she was always over looking for herself all because she was an empath.
Now, she was never one to label herself or others
and never dreamed about wanting to cling to an excuse such as being an empath as an easy escape blame.
That was actually one of her most hated pet peeves!
However, she did finally come to terms that by resisting and hating
this pet peeve that she had,
somehow actually made it more persistent in her life.
So there she was.. learning how to accept it that she was indeed too
focused always on other people and their troubles.
She was learning to accept that she was indeed taking on other people's crisis'
and trying to solve them by pushing her ideas on others and
battling with them as if she was higher and mightier.
And thus, she would crash and burn in ever relationship that ever crossed her path.
So.. she finally took on a new skill.
Learning to love herself first.
Which she had thought she had already achieved 2 years ago when she left
for another state. Literally.
But that was just the beginning of the life long journey.
And so here she was..
listening to this pastor tell her that in order to love her self...
She had to know and accept herself as she was.
Broken conscious and all.
When she finally started to accept that she was indeed broken,
she also came to the realization, that God had accepted her for that.
And that God never left her. He walked with her through all the pain
and hell she had put herself through all because she was afraid to
accept herself.
So when she finally realized that she was just running on fear...
She stopped. And she opened up to receive guidance and actually took
whatever came her way that felt right to her.
So this pastor was saying in his preaching's that when a person
love's themselves, they treat themselves with kindness, caring, understanding, joy, peace, and happiness.
They don't boss themselves around, or punish themselves.
They don't make themselves wait for happiness through a bargain of abuse to self.
And all of this was really resonating with what she had come across in the mountains
when she was hiking with mother earth for the past two years.
And so she began to apply the words to her daily life and daily experiences.
And that's when later that day, in chimed her ex...
Trying to text her that she didn't know what was right for her.
And that he did and was going to rescue her.
Which she had just learned was a power tool that men
with bad intentions for women will use to lower her self worth.
She laughed and then felt a surge of power in her rise up that said,
"he's not up to par hunny. Close the door and walk away."
And so she did.
