One of the hardest things she had to turn her back on
was trying to change every person
that she was constantly finding herself around.
And why did she want to change them anyways?
She had to ask herself this very question one day.
And to her surprise, the truth was pretty harsh when she first heard it.
She realized that not only her pride was to blame in the wanting to change
all those who crossed her path...
But her lack of self love was also an accomplice.
It turned out that she really didn't know who she was at her core.
She was leaning too heavily on external realities like;
jobs, cars, houses, ways of life, and
other peoples' validations as being a worthy being.
So of course, this lead her to a misconception and the need to reinvent the people...
Hence, her deeply devoted mission to change those outside herself.
She had been working on her self love road for a while and
didn't realize that she had fallen off on a small detour.
De-tours were always the worst for her.
They seemed easy to others, but for her, they were like a road into
a totally different dimension.
And getting back to the real world took almost forever.
She literally had to stop going in circles first in order to find her way back to the right road.
She was learning though.
And so today was yet another journey down a small detour of awakening..
She found herself somehow entangled in the high strung emotions of her soul sisters
elated narcissistic dragging relationship.
She didn't even know how she fell into it..
She had just awoken and wanted to cook up some morning joe...
But instead ended up cooking up something much more!
Her soul sister and her were battling harsh words back and forth
and it wasn't even high noon!
What had gotten into them, she thought...
Why were they at each other's throats over a stupid non-existent person?
And it really took her a minute after her soul sister had left for the day,
when she had a chance to sit down and really breathe.
Really reconnect with her true calm self.
Her feminine self.
And when she asked herself what was up...
She realized that she was trying to put herself in another person's life and make it her own.
She was taking on another person's crisis as if it was her own to fix!
She was falling...
No wonder that her first instinct was to try to control another person
and try to make her triumph prevalent through their actions.
Which now, by the way, seemed so unachievable!
Trying to puppet a person to do her own work, sounded like a wonderful way of giving up power and becoming a victim to circumstances with no way out.
And on top of it... the so called 'work' wasn't even really her own.
She had over stepped boundaries!
Why!?
What made her want to be so entangled in someone else's story instead of her own?
And this is when it hit her.
She was bored with her own existence.
Why?
Cuz she wasn't in alignment with her true authentic self.
She wasn't loving herself as she was.
So she stopped right there.
She began to educate herself on the things that really mattered to her.
She was not going to become a victim again.
She was done playing the trapped princess in a fairytale that needed rescuing.
She knew her power.
And she was going to own it.
And so she began right then and there to change what she knew she could.
Herself.
