A turquoise round disc shaped chair
from a Wal-Mart of all places...
But she didn't care..
She wasn't some rich b*tch..
let alone a poor joke..
So she always brought what she could
that satisfied her senses.
And this chair did all that.
As she sat in it..
She was listening to a Spanish song.
Spanish music always had a way of invigorating her.
But a lot of times, it also sparked inside her
a soul touch.
She didn't understand it...
She wasn't Spanish.
So most of the songs she listened to,
she didn't even understand what they were singing about.
A lot of times, she knew it was all sexual stuff.
But to her,
the music wasn't about the lyrics.
It was the harmony.
Somehow, Spanish music had great harmony!
It touched her soul, and that meant that it had something.
It touched her soul, and that meant that it had something.
She wondered what it had and if it was good or bad?
Cuz as she tried to remember...
The very thing that had gotten her in trouble in the passed two and a half years,
was indeed Spanish music!
Okay. Okay... so maybe, she was looking for something to blame for her
bad choices.
For her escape.
For her death wish?
And there it was.
The truth.
She wasn't happy with her life.
She wasn't happy with the route she had chosen.
And then she met him.
Death himself.
He walked with her for a while.
"Not yet Not yet" she would say...
Pleading with him jokingly.
He saw it in her eyes though.
Something she couldn't see herself.
The hope.
The spark.. the Plead...
The Will...
She was blind to it all..
She chose to be deaf to it all.
The cries..
The begs..
The pleads..
Her inner child wanted her to wake up.
To listen.
To care again...
About herself and her life...
And so one day... Death came close..
He hovered over her... Smirk on his face..
He knew that the time was near...
He waited for her response..
Was she going to?
And she played the way she always did.
Away she ran...
Again and again..
He waited this time.
He was waiting for her..
Was she going to come back one last time?
Was it time?
But this time...
She woke up.
She was listening to a Spanish song once again...
Only this time...
She wasn't ready to leave her existence.
She was happy even though she wasn't where she wanted to be.
She finally found herself...
Her true self.
And even though she had a long way to go in order to be
where she wanted to be, she was happy to take her time getting there.
As she looked back on death..
She did appreciate all that he showed her.
All that he walked through with her.
He really wasn't a scary deal...
But he just wasn't for her...
Not Yet!
